Well once again our Gonzo Guide Larry Harris outdid himself developing an Eyeopener Tour of the Upper Midwest that will no doubt make it into the Eyeopener Hall of Fame, located in a secret grotto modeled after the masterpieces of Frank Lloyd Wright, Louis Sullivan and Fred Smith, built by midwestern gnomes who maintain this sacred space and where the few, lucky participants who make this annual pilgrimage to the whimsical world where our acknowledged leader communicates with the denizens who inhabit it can receive perpetual redemption.

It started big and then went from arithmetic increases in the "Wow Factor" to geometric rises in the "Holy cow can you believe that?" The best quote of the tour and the one that says it all after visiting some of America's greatest architecture by our greatest architects was "I will never look at a building the same way ever again!"

Blasting off at the eyeopening hour of 5:15 A.M., our rugged little band hopped a flight to Minneapolis, capital of the Land of the Wind Chill Factor. Apparently one piece of luggage preferred the climate of Honolulu and took off on its own. Fortunately it was recaptured and 48 hours later was escorted to the Comfort Inn to be reunited with its owner.

Our first stop was for an exotic lunch of elk, bison, caribou and venison at Cabela's, an outdoorsman's paradise of trophy animal heads and bodies that if alive would fill the San Diego zoo. Then it was off to the fantastic National Farmer's Bank of Owatonna, Minnesota. This architectural jewel was designed by Chicago architect Louis Sullivan in 1909. It is known as a "Jewel Box" and anyone who sees it knows why.